My Date with Joy (A Regular Human Being Living with Deafness)

Faith Lipham

My Date with Joy (A Regular Human Being Living with Deafness)

Over spring break I ran a 5K race with my cousin, Joy. We are both active individuals and decided this would be a great way to spend time together. After the challenge and entertainment of the race, we had food on our mind. We went to IHop and then back to her house for some private time. I get along really well with Joy and have for years. It almost seems silly to me that I have to mention the fact that she is deaf. She is a human just like the rest of us; the fact that she has a disability cannot hold back our friendship.

Activity: When we arrived to the race location there was a lot of activity going on. A couple hundred people were all preparing for the race to start. This was composed of people registering, stretching, warming up, and there was general business around. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be fairly well spread out so at this point Joy and I did not run into any difficulties.

Crowding: However, just before the start of the race, everyone was assembling near the start line. This created very crowded conditions. It seemed as though every person was trying to get as close to the front as possible. With all the hustle and bustle it made it difficult to keep track of each other so we decided to go near the back end of the crowd. This might have given us a slight disadvantage because it did not give us an accurate record of the duration of our run, but we decided it was worth it because we could keep each other comfortably in sight. This was important so that Joy and I could communicate if we needed to.

Sociality: Once the race got started communication between each other was no longer a focus. As people began to run at different paces, the crowd spread out which improved upon the crowding issue. In addition, the activity we were partaking in did not encourage much social interaction. While running a race it is important to conserve energy and focus on the movement of the body. It is very difficult to maintain a brisk pace while exerting effort on communicating. Furthermore, communicating with Joy requires more attention; Joy relies more heavily on her sense of sight in order to read lips to compensate for her lack of keen auditory stimulus.
 

Meaning: Our minds quickly become occupied with other things. The grounds of the race were held in an area that had meaning to both of us. A portion of the track went along a field that I used to train on with my high school soccer team. While my brain was being flooded with memories of my team, Joy was remembering that her mother used to take her to this part of town while she was a child. The location had significant sentimental value to both of us.  

Joy and I both completed the race and were very pleased with our individual performance as well as the company. Some people might be surprised by this, but running is a fantastic way that Joy and I are able to spend time together. It is an activity that minimizes the need for verbal communication yet it increases companionship while running alongside each other. It is an unspoken commonality that grows our relationship.

Once the race was completed we gave ourselves some time to rest. Before long we both realized we were exquisitely hungry. We decided to go to IHope to satisfy our hunger and serious need for carbs.

Accessibility: The accessibility of an environment has to do with the ease of movement. In a physical sense, IHop was certainly accommodating. They had ramps up to the sidewalk and wide passageways to both booths and tables. The only physical critique I had was that the doors had to be manually opened which would be difficult for someone in a wheel chair or perhaps on crutches. However, I did notice that they had a hostess upfront who was available to help in that situation.

Adaptability: IHop also had a wide range of adaptability for Joy. They had large menus which made it easy for her to order and communicate with our server. If she so chose, all she had to do was point. Also, our waiter knew sign language. They had a really great time and we made sure to tip him really well.

After we completed our meal and interactions with our waiter, Joy and I went back to her house and we baked cookies and made chocolate pretzels.

Control & Privacy: While we were at her house we had much more control of our environment. It was a place where we both felt safe and at ease. We were not constrained by external expectations so we both put on comfortable sweat pants.  While we were waiting on the cookies to bake, Joy invited me to join her in her room. This is a space where she does not typically allow people to invade because it is her own territory. I was very honored and it was a sign of our friendship.

 Many people dominate personal interactions with verbal communication and they overlook other forms of personal interaction. Joy has showed me that there is so much more to a relationship. She has helped me grow and understand a more balanced perspective of individuals living with disabilities. I felt like this experience was very eye opening and Joy and I already have plans to hang out again in the near future.