A Date in the City of Lights by Danielle S.

My great-uncle, also my adopted father, is Uncle Tom. This sweet man is a figure in my life that brings joy and laughter. While he loves going out and can start a conversation with anyone, he also enjoys being at home, working in his garden or reading a good book. Upon meeting him, you would think he’s a pretty average man who leads a healthy, care-free retired life with his beautiful family. However, after spending more time with him, you might notice that he seems often confused or that he’s not listening to a word you’re saying. Uncle Tom was born with a permanent hearing impairment that has affected his entire life. Like most aging men, he loses hearing as time passes. Currently in his late 60s, Uncle Tom is close to deaf. Thanks to science and his retirement savings, he is currently wearing special hearing aids that have added significant quality to his hearing. For this project, I’ll share the story of my family vacation to Paris this summer and only a few of the many obstacles we faced because Uncle Tom mistakenly left his hearing aids at home.

Yes, we left behind one of the family’s most valuable and important pieces in the rush of packing. Immediately, we came across challenges: Uncle Tom drove us to the airport while Aunt Ellene attempted to call out directions. Security at the airport asked him questions that he could not hear nor understand. This impairment affects more than Uncle Tom. When he can’t hear he gets frustrated which affects his attitude toward his family. We, in turn, become frustrated with him because our patience wears thin.

            Our first day in Paris my aunt and sister were exhausted from the jetlag, so Uncle Tom and I went out for a day in the city. We went out to lunch at a local café; fun for me, but frustrating for my uncle. Not only did he know almost no French, he couldn’t hear the little English that they were trying to speak to us. I had to be the buffer in between Uncle Tom and our French waitress who wasn’t sure why my uncle seemed to be so rude as to not speak to her (preventing “sociality”). With “activity” in mind, I ordered for the both of us quickly so that the waitress could relieve me of how uncomfortable and stressed I was. I then tried to have a conversation with him in the midst of the loud talking and clinging dishes. Quiet “privacy” would have been ideal, but our privacy consisted of the “comfort” of letting him be the only one to talk since I was the only one who could hear. We then went to the Lourve museum where we were given a guided tour. At first we tried to stand in front of the crowd so that my uncle could hear, but he ended up “adapting” by using a recorded audio tour (which provided “sensory stimulation”). He was thankful that the environment offered that “control” for him. We knew that we had to stay close in case we got separated (the “crowding” would make it difficult to find each other again) so I picked up an audio tour so that we would be at the same pace. He still enjoyed the museum and our trip to Paris despite the difficulties that came along with his hearing impairment. It is very humbling to walk alongside the life of someone with a physical disability and a testing of the love and patience of a strong family. I am forever thankful for Uncle Tom; he is such an inspiration.

This café is small and crowded, making it more difficult for Uncle Tom to hear me or our waitress

As you can imagine, the crowd and distance from the tour guide makes it hard for Uncle Tom to hear.

Would you be interested in an audio guide on your next visit to a museum? Check out their website to see what they have to offer! It’s especially helpful for those who have trouble hearing; they can still be “in the know” without hearing the tour guide among a crowd.